you can’t fool the fat man lyrics – randy newman

sittin’ with the fat man
tryin’ to get a loan
talkin’ about horses
and the women that we’ve known

he was spittin’ on the sidewalk
squintin’ into the sun
greetin’ all the people
smilin’ at everyone

i said “hey listen fat man
i just can’t get a break
must i pay my whole life long
for just one mistake?

“my brother’s in the armed forces
my sister is in jail
won’t you give me fifty dollars
so i can pay her bail?”

he said “you can’t fool the fat man
no, you can’t fool me
you’re just a two-bit griftet
and that’s all you’ll ever be”

/ randy newman lyrics