two lyrics – amy speace

in the middle of the night i was sleeping sitting up,
when a doctor came to tell me,
“enough is enough.”

he brought me out into the hall
(i could have sworn it was haunted),
and told me something that
i didn’t know that i wanted to hear:
that there was nothing that i could do save you,
the choir’s gonna sing,
and this thing is gonna kill you.
something in my throat made my next words shake,
and something in the wires made the lightbulbs break.
there was gl*ss inside my feet
and raining down from the ceiling,
it opened up the scars that had just finished healing.
it tore apart the canyon running down your femur,
(i thought that it was beautiful, it made me a believer.)
and as it opened i could hear you howling from your room,
but i hid out in the hall until the hurricane blew.
when i reappeared and tried to give you something for the pain,
you came to hating me again,
and just sang your refrain:

you had a new dream,
it was more like a nightmare.
you were just a little kid, and they cut your hair,
then they stuck you in machines,
you came so close to dying.
they should have listened,
they thought that you were lying.
daddy was an *sshole,
he f*cked you up,
built the gears in your head,
now he greases them up.
and no one paid attention
when you just stopped eating.
“eighty-seven pounds!”
and this all bears repeating.

“tell me when you think that we became so unhappy, wearing silver rings with n*body clapping. when we moved here together we were so dissappointed, sleeping out of tune with our dreams disjointed. it killed me to see you getting always rejected, but i didn’t mind the things you threw, the phones i deflected. i didn’t mind you blaming me for your mistakes, i just held you in the doorframe through all of the earthquakes. but you packed up your clothes in that bag every night, and i would try to grab your ankles (what a pitiful sight.) but after over a year, i stopped trying to stop you
from stomping out that door, coming back like you always do. well no one’s gonna fix it for us, no one can.

“you say that,

/ amy speace lyrics