three point one four lyrics – bloodhound gang

my last girlfriend didn’t like me, thought she might be most likely a dyke
she just didn’t excite me, left me yeah, but that was alright
she was hotter than the sun but she just wasn’t that bright
my mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
i think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
*ss like a donkey acting funky gave her l now she’s a flunky
so my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys
early bird gets the worm, spread your legs or spread the word,
so what if i’m not the smartest peanut in the t*rd?
i’m white which goes with anything, but i can come in any color
and i’m looking for the kinda girl that reminds of my mother.
but it’s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushie
and how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their p*ssy?
i like em easy and hot and sweet, like a rice krispie treat,
gee, you know what i really want in a girl?

i need to find a
new v*g*n*
any kind of
new v*g*n*
it’s hard to rhyme a
word like v*g*n*
calvin klein kind of
north carolina!

women are like dog doo, hear my through don’t interrupt.
it’s just the older that they are the easier they get to pick up
i’d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
no age just ain’t a gauge i like my girls like my cheese
preferably for me fat-free american singles only
i want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner
won’t have to take her skinny *ss out to a fancy dinner
like sizzler she got a beef we’ll chew the fat
if i forget to put the seat up i can put up with her cr*p
let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed i don’t play rough
no i can’t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
just independent like nofx smart like janeane garafolo
she’d use big words to make fun of me so that i would never know
bestow upon me all her wisdom of the dewey decimal system gee
you know what i really want in a girl? me

i need to find a
new v*g*n*
any kind of
new v*g*n*
kevin kline kind of
south carolina


/ bloodhound gang lyrics