(background words spoken by balsac the jaws of death)
y’know, back in outer sp*ce we used to drink –
a lot we used to take all kinds of kick-*ss drugs
and showed blatant disrespect for any authority figures
little did we know we were undermining our entire value system…
at that time i was serving in the masters 3rd sc*mdog legion
aboard a planetary infection barge,
attempting to obey a host of confusing orders,
but mostly satisfying only our l*st for slaughter ravingly drunk half the time,
i only realized a battle had started
when i heard the roar of the fleets plasma bombardment.
piling into our armored *ssault pods we began our descent
to the planets pulverized surface.
we were met by a flight of primitive interceptors
which we devastated with soaring blast of nuclear hatred,
flashing through the debris cloud into the atmosphere below.
the obliteration of flab quarv 7 on the horizon was the blazing outlines
of a bombed city, the outlying areas dotted with flaming craters
and fleeing refuges i vomited out the window and led our battalion
on a blazing attack on the non-combatants pulpifying their flesh
in a rain of sulfuric plasma burst.
the m*ss mutilation of a world ensued,
with those not being fit for slave labor being herded
into gigantic flaming pits.
we laughed as several thousand years
of cultural development were wiped out
in a single blundering instant.
gorged on guts, gouged out eyes
captives fill the breeding hive
desecrate their sovereign world
bloated, bl**dy, drunken churl
cultures crumble, races die
stench of midgets fill the sky
smashing skulls with ghastly crunch
pretty soon we’ll break for lunch
later, as we flew through deep sp*ce
ritually disemboweling our victims
the navigator informed us that we
attacked the wrong planet.
the obliteration of flab quarv 7