my life lyrics – deviates

i’ve got something to say about the state of union today
it’s not a union, sometimes i wonder if it ever was
united states, united people, is it all just b.s. are we all created equal
correct me if i’m wrong, i hope i am
i stand in the lower cl*ss and i see no end
we’re all just victims of income segregation
why must 3 cl*sses separate the entire nation?
there’s 3 cl*sses, 1 on top and 1 below
the middle doesn’t matter and neither does the low
the top irritate and subjugate the bottom two
try to deny it but they do it to you
now the m*sses are controlled by the minority
they have just wealth, not rightful authority
we see the rich pockets getting fatter, faster
what will you do, is money your master?

land of opportunities
i hear the word opportunity so many times i’m not sure what it means to me
all importance lost in a definition that’s been spread to the m*sses
by the age of integrity
i hear the talk about stability, i start to realize this ain’t the land of opportunity
i heard a story today about a man who had millions but no stories to tell
climbed on top of his mountain of money & found he was all alone
to live a life in the name of money was the opportunity he should have blown
no sh*t i realize, i’m not the only one
this happens everyday, you know it happens to everyone
i get real p*ssed off, & i throw my hands in the air
but i got my friends with me, so i don’t care
don’t tell me what i want, don’t tell me what i need
don’t tell me what i have or what to be taking, i’ll tell you what i want
don’t worry about me, i’ve got my opportunity

i remember
when i think of my youth, i don’t remember you, you weren’t there
you didn’t care, you still don’t care, you never cared if i did, but i don’t
it was a dream i had no choice, i couldn’t scream i had no voice
to say or do anything, i was all alone and the hate did grow
and i remember what it’s like to be different, a constant fight, ya, i remember
you couldn’t see no you couldn’t feel, wake up from the dream just to find it’s real, yeah i remember
my mind was full of hate, my heart was empty i couldn’t take it
it was your choice to leave, i hated you, did you hate me?
a fight for custody, over me, a piece of property, just filled me w/ confusion
empty thoughts, anger & illusions.
do you remember me, that whining kid, that crying baby
the hate has evolved, problem solved, you don’t exist, it’s all your fault
yeah i remember what it’s like to be a kid, that’s not my life
you’re nothing to me, you never were, that’s pretty lame
i guess that’s just the way it goes… but i remember

my life
what you think doesn’t f@!#$ matter to me
i like my life, run by me how it’s gonna be
i might decide to change my ways of i might decide to ruin your day
ok, i figured it out, 2 people and 1 chair that’s what this life is all about
your life is just a single day, wake up & go to work, your death your escape
my life, it’s all i have, it’s something we share, & we die
wondering if and why, no i don’t care
what you think you saw, you didn’t see, & what you wanna be, you’re never gonna be
my life is not gonna be that way, when i die i’ll smile, cause i did it my way
take a run here’s your chance come and get me, i’ve been beaten
but you’ll never beat me, had your chance now it’s gone, and it’s up to me
i understand you, do you understand me?
understand one d*mn thing, it’s my life, my way, my life, it’s all i have
its something we share, wondering if and why no i don’t care
wasting away wondering if you will die tonight, i wont waste 1 day of my life

i guess i’m wasting my time trying to tell you how i feel, or
asking you how you see us, i’m confused but i know what i mean
i can never say it, i could hardly write it, you’ll probably never
read this
i’; m not going to sign it, no that’s not me, it just seems this
is the way it had to be, not anymore i want you & me, this is the
way it had to be
should have would have could have had it, i blew my chance
but i’m glad i had one, far away out of range you can’t see
no words can explain & no song seems complete
the more i speak i make a fool out of me, what can be said i’m incomplete
this is the way it had to be, not anymore i want you & me,
this is the way it had to be

this town
i’ve tried so many times to leave this place, this town,
my life these streets are a map of my past, tomorrow
they’ll tell me about last night
there’s nog odd news if there’s any news at all, this place
is boring,
this place sucks, this place is home, i’ve walked these streets
18 years,
my whole life, i know their names like mine, and i hate tonight
where should we go from here, where will be next year, this city
is changing
but it’s all the same, we’ve been here, done that, seen this, &
trashed that
i can’t take another day, i hate tonight i say this 7 nights a
i hate tonight, i hate this f!@#$ town, everywhere i go &
everything i see
i try to shrug it away, i try to sleep it away, i try to drink
it away
i want to keep it away, there’s nothing left to see, it’s a part
of me
no, it’s not a part of me. i’ve tried so many times to leave this
place this town my life, the same problems always come my way,
it’s getting harder to see
guess i’ll find my way home, i close my mind & the problems solved
if tomorrow comes, i’ll push on through

i hate (teen angst)
i’m not racist i hate everyone and yes, i hate you. i hate cops,
authority figures, parents, teachers too. i hate cabbage & brussel
sprouts. i hate things i can live without & i can live without you.
i can live without you, so just leave me alone, take your ball &
go home, i’ll do it on my own
the years go by and the names, they change yet teenage rebellion
remains the same, just p*ssed on kids living p*ssed off lives,
p*ssed on lives

playing to lose
you can’t find it, but i know you will, it hurts me & kills me
to feel your h*ll
you find comfort that you’d like to share you find you’re not
alone and now you like it here, i never thought i’d see today,
i never thought i’d see you this way, tell me everything’s gonna be ok, i see that look in your eyes and i know you’re lying, i feel the flames
& they warm me, i feel the burn & it reminds me that my well has
run dry & i’m empty inside. too much is not enough, you’ve learned
too late, when you were sure to lose, you raced to the game
and now in a scene where you get happy rejected, i find a friend
who is starved for acceptance. i never thought i’d see today, i never
thought i’d see you this way, tell me everything’s gonna be ok,
i see that look in your eyes and i know i’m lying. running from your past, you’re blind at the present and all your plan have sold you out
you’re looking for solutions, never looking forward, falling
faster than before, i can’t believe a word that’s said
and now i know you know you’re lying to yourself
your lies are hanging you, you’re hanging you, stop blaming someone else

we grew up
in our youth we must have been blind, no conditions, none,
friends easy to find, but we grew up set in our ways, now what’s
happened it’s worse every day
i’ve opened up & still you can’t see, don’t
hear my words you don’t understand me
i’m trying hard & i don’t want it to end
hey what happened? we used to be friends. now it seems
that we’re so used to it become so normal can’t do without
it, not by choice, you say you do it by habit
too much fighting you know i don’t want it. we grew up,
i guess that just depends
we grew up, does that mean we’re not friends

one day
26 and paul wants a great life, a good paying job,
a nice house, a kid, a pretty wife. he can’t hold a job,
he never has & knows he never will, he plays the lottery
& blames his problems on the world. i’ve been seeing this
sh*t for some time, we all got our problems, i guess we’ve
all got our needs, i’ve been seeing this sh*t for some time,
take good care of yourself. first of the month and the rent
is due again, checking his savings he’s got pocket lint to spend.
down on his luck, with no tears to spare, desperation motivates
a mind not clear. one day he said things are gonna change,
one day when i’ve got things squared away. one day soon turns
into the next, one day were the words he said with his last breath.
1992 paul walks into the liquor store, with an unloaded pistol,
i don’t need to say more. his life ended in that tragic day,
noone cared for him, not one to this day

maybe tomorrow
a missing child, a mother too weak to stand she cries,
her world turned upside down she sobs where is my baby
a victim of apathy. no one regrets, no one regrets what
they forgot. n*body feels pain that’s not theirs, n*body
feels anymore. while we count our losses we can see that
noone here claims a victory. cries for help left unanswered
are written down in the pages of history. no one regrets,
no one regrets what they forgot. n*body feels pain that’s
not theirs, n*body feels anymore. why can’t we see this is
reality? why can’t we see, this happens every day? why can’t
we see that we’re part of it? why can’t we see it’s what we are,
it’s what we’ve done? the problem here is clear, the helpless
cries ring in our ears. an epidemic ever present claims victims
with no names. i ask you how we can be content with what we see?
the tragedies that we’ve all seen, i know we’ll see again.
why can’t we see this is reality? why can’t we see, this happens
every day? it never goes away. why can’t we see that we’re part of
it? look around ya know we’re part of it? when will we see it’s what
we are, it’s what we’ve done?

what i’ve heard
when your friends hurt you, they know it isn’t good,
you don’t respect them, i know that i never could. when
it comes to respect you must give to receive, with friends
like these, who need enemies. from what i’ve heard one who
hurts is not a friend. choose them wisely or they’ll hurt
you in the end. when it comes to looking for friends, most
pick and choose. the ones that don’t are the ones that always
seem to lose. it’s happened to me. you know i’ve seen it before
but the good friends the true friends are the ones that endure
. like i said, respect is not a given, neither is trust in the
world that we’re living. the trust is not there with friends lik
e these, i have no respect for people like these. who will be
hurt? who will hurt who knows? it won’t be me no way, but i know.
we’ve all allowed and we all will again be hurt by people, the
people we call friends

there for me
she was there for me and i don’t know why. she was there for me
did i treat her good? though i didn’t speak she always understood,
i took her for granted and i don’t know why. throng all the tough
times she loved me. preoccupied i was too blind to see. she gave
her all, she gave her life she had no more, she did it all for me.
she knew me but did she know? i loved her but did it show? there
was a letter and i knew why. she said she loved me then she said goodbye.

i need help i can’t leave i can’t breathe. i see my way out but
i’m in too deep to care. emotionless, i feel myself about to break. self-destruction, self corruption, this life i know, this life i hate
. with each p*ssing day my outlets slip away. i believe the lies and
i dig myself in deeper. i play a daily game of tug a war between
what’s in my heart and what’s on my mind, not weighing circ*mstances,
p*ssing blindly by my chances knowing some day i might die. in the
silence of my nightmare noone else can hear me scream, noone else knows
what i need, noone else believes, i could die and not care. i need
something to set me free. reflections from my past that seem so unreal
to me, i’m out of touch i can no longer feel me, my heart is sick and
my mind is reeling. don’t know myself, don’t know why i still don’t care
. i’m the only one that’s paying, and i’m the only one that’s playing.
the more i struggle the more i lose. i dig myself in deeper and still
don’t care then the moment comes when you reach for my heart, i know
it’s to hard to find

/ deviates lyrics