lactose intolerant lyrics – cyndi lauper

i lack the enzymes
to properly digest lactose
i can’t drink cow’s milk
i can’t drink milk from a goat
yogurt, cottage cheese
make me throw up
please no cream in my cup

my stomach is swelling
i am lactose — intolerant
my throat is constricting
i am lactose — intolerant
— parody from 9/15/95 bonnie hunt episode of “late show with david
letterman”; to the tune of “time after time”

/ cyndi lauper lyrics